I'll be real honest here, I didn't really have time to post today. But even though it's starting to get late, I'm sitting here typing at the speed of light because I really wanted to share with you something that has stuck with me all weekend. I was listening to a webinar by the beautiful genius, Hilary Rushford. If you aren't familiar with her work at Dean Street Society, you might still recognize her name because I talk about her, oh, pretty much every week. I'm basically obsessed with her and I pretend she's my life coach in a world where your life coach has never met you and doesn't know you exist.
Anyway, this was a webinar about How to Get Paid to be Creative, and if you're someone who is at all interested in this topic, I totally recommend it. I loved it and as I was frantically taking notes, one specific notion really stopped me in my tracks.
It's such a simple concept, but if we take some time to really consider it, it can also be pretty life changing. I think a majority of the time, we think in terms of Do - Have - Be. If I lose weight (do) then I'll have a perfect body (have) and then I can finally have some confidence (be). Or when I move (do) into my massive dream home (have) then I can finally consider myself a success (be). And the problem with this sequence of events is that we are denying ourselves the have part- in these scenarios confidence and a feeling of success- until we've "measured up."
If you think about the last thing you really wanted, the last big change you wanted to make, I wonder if this Do - Have - Be thinking got in your way?
I know it certainly has for me in the past. Fashion is a hard world to go into feeling imperfect. I spent a lot of wasted time in my 20s thinking, 'Once my body is how I want it to be and I have a really amazing wardrobe, then my career will really take off.' But guess what? I never got any of those things and I probably never will. So I really had to face the facts: I could just go for it with all of my flaws or wait until I'm "perfect" and therefore face the very real possibility that I will never even get a chance.
This was so real for me when I had just started blogging. I got tickets to an event and I had to walk up to designers/vendors, etc. and say "Hi! I'm a local blogger, would you mind if I take a picture of your work?" And, you guys, it took me so long to actually go up to anyone and do that really simple task. I just felt like a total fraud. And really I kind of was. I was "a local blogger" because I lived nearby and had created my own website that week. And looking back it was so silly to feel nervous about, because my "fake it til you make it" behavior was actually a very valid and necessary step in the process. Sometimes you have to do things that seem backwards to get where you want to go.
If you decided today to BE that person in your head that you envision, what would you DO differently this week and how much confidence/happiness could you HAVE?
I know for me personally, this message is a big one. I'm a perfectionist and I always feel like I'm not quite ready to be the person I want to be. I'm not perfect enough yet.
So this week I'm not setting any benchmark goals outside of my to-do list, and instead I'm just going to focus on the BE part of the equation. For me that's considering myself a "Creative Professional" and an "Artist." Those terms always feel funny to me, like I need to have a gallery showing or give a lecture at a college before I can claim either of these titles, but this week I'm going to try and not care. Everyone has to start somewhere, right? So between you and me, this week I am a total professional artist. ;)
What is something you are holding yourself back from because of fear or the feeling that you're not worthy? And better yet, who are you going to BE this week?